I have a pretty terrible memory, saved by photos. Often, when I think that I am having a clear memory of something, I realize that nothing is moving and that I am actually recalling a photo of something that I once lived, not the actual moment in memory.
Nick is out shooting a time lapse and I am staying with Dani at the camp site. Time like this, alone, gives opportunity to clean and organize and look through old photos, which is what I found myself doing at 11 tonight.
I was looking back on the journey we have been on so far. I’d been reading John Steinbeck and feeling the warm and gooey reminiscent feelings, remembering when we were happily planning our adventure and daydreaming of a journey. We’d been saving photos of beautiful places for months, going back in journals and through archived files to create something of a map for ourselves. We were hoping to find little-traveled roads and places that would spark conversation and imagination.
Flipping through photos on my phone, I can’t believe all that we have done already. I have hundreds of pictures, evidence of good times and hard times. Three months worth of sunsets, forests, mountains and streams.
But how to put those things to words? To describe sunsets I come up with words that don’t do justice to the scene nor the colors. To give verbiage to the sounds when out on a lonely road and all you hear is the river, everything comes up short. To verbalize the feelings brought by watching the little things of life unfold somehow even when life has been uprooted is almost impossible.
The past few months have been full of successes and failures, great talks and miscommunications and so much hope. The cycle of something breaking every month is a fun one. That every time I make a reorder for my prescription something doesn’t go right with shipping is a great challenge to my patience. Dani had a week or so where she couldn’t seem not to pee more often than we did and that was a good test of our ability to adapt and learn how to help her (she’s all better now). Lack of cell service or internet and therefore lack of connection with home has given us opportunity to be creative with our conversations and with our time.
The seemingly endless sunrises in new places, catching the aurora unexpectedly, the hello’s to friends new and old - these things have built us up along the way making it just a bit easier to take the miles and hours and distance away from everything happening at home, and there is a LOT happening at home. Weddings, baby’s, preschool, diagnosis, moving - happiness and heartache that I wish with all my heart to be there for.
But we are here. At this point, here should be Montana, right near the Canadian border. And as hard as it has been to say we can’t find a way back for any or all of those life-happenings - you have no idea how hard it is - I can still say I am thankful to be out and living this crazy road-life. And because I take pictures so that I can remember things and I have a major lack of words to describe them, here are of some of my phone snaps:
Of course, a collection of Dani pictures:
All of the fixing...
Some of the sun...